The Shortest Meeting

One fine day in the forest

The animals gathered for a meeting,

They all did, from the smallest to the tallest

(Except for the Hippo, who was home eating).

They all seemed rather peeved;

You see, the Squirrel of all people

Had asked them to assemble,

And the summons was ill-received.

The Bear looked quite cranky

And had only honey on his mind,

“What is this hanky-panky?”

Demanded the grouchy Vulture from behind.

The Elephant lazily slouched

Sipping a pail of water,

While a surly Gecko grouched

As the summer sun grew hotter.

The Owls were asleep, without a clue

And the Possum was playing dead,

Though he probably would be in a minute or two

Because the Python was eyeing his head.

The Squirrel leapt on to a rock

And squealed for their attention

“Please, my friends, let me talk

If I may have your kind permission.”

The Jackal sniggered at his words

As soon as they’d been said,

But the kind and tolerant Birds

Encouraged him to go ahead.

“There is an issue of grave importance

That I wish to discuss…”

(Sadly he couldn’t finish the sentence

As he developed a bad case of hiccups.)

He bounced around making strange sounds

And tried to regain his thread,

But not a soul from Bat to Bloodhound

Could understand a word he said.

Gasping and choking, to the ground he sunk

And squeaked to the Elephant, “Give me your water!”

The tusker flew into a rage, and whipped the poor soul with his trunk

You see, he’d misheard “water” as “daughter”.

So ended the shortest meeting in history

And the other animals all lived a long and happy life

Because they had learnt the moral of the story

That being,

In future fits of hiccupping

At least don’t ask to borrow the Elephant’s knife.